Posted by: hopeofanotherworld | July 24, 2008

Fear…and my emotions in general

In some aspects of life I am a “catistrophic thinker,” most depressed people are this type of thinker.  They think a small thing is the end of the world or a small action by someone means that person hates them.  My catistrophic thinking is more limited, it applies only to people I love (family or friends).  For instance, when we used to live in Nigeria my mom would sometimes go to the “big city” to go grocery shopping with the other missionary wives.  They would try to time their trips to where they would be back before it was dark, but sometimes they didn’t make it before then.  I remember I would be sitting in the darkness on the front porch and would just assume the worst, that something had happened and Mom wasn’t coming back.  Right now I have a similar fear for one of my friends, their phone is off, they haven’t been on facebook for awhile, and they’re supposed to be in town but they haven’t stopped by to see me like they normally do.  Instead of being rational and thinking maybe they’re taking a break from techology or something, I assume the worst, I assume they’re hurt or…umm, worse.  Also, it makes me more scared because her parents don’t know me, they wouldn’t call me if this friend was hurt, and we don’t really have mutual friends so none of them would call me either.  Luckily this doesn’t happen very often, I don’t get these feelings very often, not nearly as much as I used to. 

Now onto something slightly different but also related.  My strongest emotions are caused by or for other people.  I rarely fear for myself, but I fear for others; I feel more saddness at others being sad than having my own saddness; I hurt more for others hurt than feeling any hurt of my own.  I fear I may be too empathic to ever be a psychologist, ah well, we’ll see what the years may bring.  I was planning on writing of another thing, but I’m not sure I want to reveal that aspect of myself…maybe some other time.  God bless us all.

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Responses

  1. i can relate to most of the empathy stuff. i am so sad when other people are sad.
    i almost cried in boonedock saints when that stupid third guy rocco died. i don’t even like him.


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