Posted by: hopeofanotherworld | July 22, 2008

An apology to the heavens

In the book, The Screwtape Letters, Lewis almost makes it out to seem like the biggest reason the devils are against God is because they cannot accept or believe his plan, that he honestly loves, especially creatures like us. I have read other authors, too, who mention satan’s being out of sorts with God because he simply can’t accept that God would want to save creatures such as us and, frankly, I oftentimes have a hard time accepting this as well, especially that God would want to save such a one as I. So, to the heavens, to the angels (I’m excluding fallen angels from this) and other beings (if there are others), to the beings who more understand how very “awe-full” God is, to you I say I am sorry. I am sorry I do not respect your God more; do not revere him more; do not stop in my steps and fall on my face in those micro-moments when I catch a more accurate picture of how very praise-worthy he is; I am sorry I am so very fallen and do not even really try to stand upright, but instead stupidly wallow on my my stomach like a bug or a pig. I am sorry I am so arrogant that I dare not accept his help when he offers it; that my pride (as if I have a right to any) stands in the way and me allowing him to give me wings; I am sorry I have the courage or perhaps it is cowardness to dare think, “You can’t love me, I am unloveable,” when he has freely given his love to me and proved it o’er and o’er. I am sorry he deemed me worthy, or at least useable in accomplishing his amazing plans, but instead of getting up and taking the world by a fire-storm of love, I sit apatheticaly and do near nothing. I am sorry the most interesting and, what should be, intrigueing being in the universe has chosen to reveal himself to me, and instead of searching deeper and deeper into the msytery which is HIM, I oftentimes am too lazy even to lift the veil of Truth. I could say so many other apologies to you beings who do not understand us and our apathy, but even saying only this much, I somewhat doubt my own sincerity…and for that, most of all, I will attempt to be sorry, sorry that even in my apologies I am so feeble and half-hearted.


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